This morning I woke up amidst the uncertainty of an election that, in my mind, should have unquestionably fallen in one direction. I felt a lot of things — anger, disgust, disappointment, fear, and simultaneously a little relieved and hopeful because it wasn’t exactly a repeat of four years ago. In the end, it physically pains me to know that there are enough people who value power and profits over people and the planet that the election was such a close call. I wanted to give up and say, “F*** you, Texas. F*** you, America! Burn it all to the ground!”
Suddenly scenes from Batman Begins popped into my head, and I noticed that my reactive thinking wasn’t so similar to the position of the heroes in the Batman story, rather it was more in-line with the views held by the League of Shadows — the group that decided Gotham was full of corruption and evil, so they were going to serve “justice” by destroying the city and the people right along with it. I guess that’s not really in alignment with my claim to value people and the planet, eh?
I went on a walk, and got on a call with a community that has been a lifeline for me this election season — CTZNWELL. It occurred to me, listening to others share their hearts and their wisdom, that my urgent need for election results to be in, and my shock and rage in not seeing the results I desired and expected in this moment — THIS election — is a symptom of whiteness showing up in me, tempting me to give up and to numb out.
I let myself feel the discomfort stirred up in me, but I also listened to those more grounded and rooted than me in this moment, like Reggie Hubbard, who called me to consider that what most upset me about this election is exactly where I am most needed in this work — that what brought up my fiery rage and judgment is exactly where I can show up to place my focus and my efforts in loving contribution to all that still needs to be done.
I listened to those who see through a wider lens than me, like Mark Gonzales, who reminded me to remember the long history of humanity, and to seek wisdom from ancestors and from the lessons of history as I strive with others to imagine and build a better future. “Time is not a constant, it’s a concept,” he says. Pulling up the deep roots of injustice and oppression in this world so that something more beautiful might take its place, has been the work of many people over many lifetimes, and will be the work of many people in many lifetimes beyond me. I may not get to see the world I long for, yet I must commit to making that effort a practice, and a non-negotiable.
Near the end of my walk, I passed by a yard sign that said, “Don’t give up.” I need that reminder, just like I still need to be reminded of my breath in a yoga class. I need community to be held and to be pushed, and so as much as I want to hide myself away, isolate, and not care, I know that hiding will not liberate me, because my liberation is bound to the liberation of ALL (thank you, Lilla Watson). I hope you will join me in making the effort to create enough space amidst the strong emotions, complaints, and discomfort, to try and see what the result of this election is showing us that we didn’t know before. When we know better, we can do better. So let’s do better. Don’t give up.