I’ve generally stopped avoiding the things I can’t do. At some point, I realized that my inclination to declare “I can’t do that because…(insert excuse here)” was often a reflection of an all-or-nothing mindset. Most things aren’t all-or-nothing though, and figuring out which aspect of a “can’t” task I in fact, CAN do, yields great positive effect for me.
For instance, I used to say “I don’t think meditation is for me because I can’t do it without feeling extremely dizzy and nauseated.” That wasn’t true, though. I couldn’t sit still on the ground for over ten minutes at the time, but I absolutely could sit for one or two minutes noticing my breath, even if it did make me feel a little dizzy. That’s where I started. By doing something instead of avoiding the thing altogether, I was able to work through the dizziness and nausea until it didn’t happen anymore and I could sit longer. Now I meditate regularly, and of course am able to perceive the myriad of benefits touted by advocates of the practice.
Here’s a very current example — I can’t do a pullup, or successfully swing my way across the monkeybars. I struggle with the grip, and pulling actions are much, much weaker for me than pushing actions like plank or handstand. But I figure if there’s an entire class of functional shoulder actions that are noticeably weaker, that’s a clear indication to me that working on the elements of pullups may yield something really valuable to me. I found some monkey bars at a playground to which I can walk (bonus!) near my house, and now I come out here to hang on the bars for a couple of seconds at a time to build my grip capacity, and I use my legs to help me do pullups. Maybe one day I’ll day I’ll do a pullup in the way that I imagine a “real” pullup to be, and maybe not. But it doesn’t actually matter, because an effective pullup isn’t an all-or-nothing task — it’s whatever kind of pullup yields something useful, like better grip, less shoulder pain, greater core capacity, more ease when I kayak or climb, decreased anxiety because I went outside and did somethign physical, etc etc.
If there’s something that sounds like fun, or you believe would benefit you, and your first inclination is to say “I can’t,” I hope you will challenge that statement. What CAN you do that is in the realm of the thing, and what does that effort yield for you?
Need help coming up with a doable approach? Let me know!